It is time to face the dreadful reality that I once participated in a school fashion show. I competed in two categories, Ballroom and Street, a significant challenge for a kid who had only recently gotten the hang of the daring art of sporting a shirt without a tie. In the Ballroom segment, I was required to perform a waltz in an Indian wedding gown supplied by a local sponsor who, I can only speculate, promptly went out of business after the occasion. For Street, I had to don a Gap hoodie and squirt a fire-eater (one of the Cool Teachers) with a Super Soaker, while some other unfortunate soul moonwalked down the runway in a golden suit.
Looking back, I am categorizing all this under the secret label of Divine Greatest Blunder. There is absolutely no photographic proof, and I kindly ask you not to search for any on Facebook. It’s far less distressing being a fashion model in Dance of Theseus, which may sound strange considering that in Dance of Theseus, you don’t merely switch outfits – you attach new heads, arms, and legs, either purchased from pretentious griffon tailors or crafted from seashells, horned skulls, and bits of glimmering hide. Developed by Shanghai-based Citreat Studio, it’s a lively, vibrant, and surprisingly unoffensive life simulation RPG with a sort of Balatro-esque Frankensteinmaxxing aspect. I’ve been enjoying the demo, and it’s both enjoyable and a continual source of inspiration. Argh, if only I’d had access to this when I was 16!!!