My beloved Hedwig, I pen this letter to you from the tumultuous battlefields of King Friedrich II’s efforts to bolster Silesia against the lurking Gallic threat. I must unfortunately convey that the French Hussars are soundly defeating our Hussars. We have just encountered what our scouts from the 17th Pop-Up Tutorial Squadron assured was a “light” patrol of poorly trained musketmen and cavalry, just on the outskirts of Hildesheim. The French cavalry seem to be made of sturdier material than our Prussian mounts. They slice through our Landmiltz like stalks of wheat. In the meantime, our cavalrymen can’t withstand a single bayonet to the gaskin without retreating homeward.